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26 Apr 2016

Spin the Lie


Hunt and all persons Tory continue to spin the lie that the strike is about greedy junior doctors and not about the futility of an unfunded electoral Tory promise that cannot and will not be fulfilled, by this government.


Currently a popular story on these pages as follows.


Yo’ mama
says the NHS is underfunded and you should do better.

Yo’ mama
says don’t be a petulant brat.

#answerthequestiondave #pmqs

21 Apr 2016

Unhappy Ever After

An extremely vivid dream last night.

Where cool is meaningless and meaninglessness is ever cooler.

#dream #film #noir

Unmade Films

19 Apr 2016

The Completist

A completist is a muso who cannot be without the recorded work of particular musicians.

I used to be guilty of such a sin but the frequent marketing changes of recorded music has now run its course, and the notion is now virtually redundant.


Robert Wyatt

#firstLP #completist #muso

If that be nerdy then nerdy I be.

14 Apr 2016


The number of components that the customer must assemble if they purchase a barbecue from Aldi (not including the packaging).

#Aldi #barbecue #shoestringonline

That information is not on the package.

If you disregard the assigned task of checking the contents of the box, the assembly of the barbecue will take around two hours of your valuable time.

12 Apr 2016

Dodgy Dave

#PanamaPapers #hippo #shoestringonline


Dennis Skinner refused to withdraw the unparliamentary adjective "dodgy" yesterday, and why should he?

Before the Panama Papers materialised, Dave used that very word, "dodgy",  to describe tax avoiding schemes and particularly so in order to traduce Jimmy Carr’s reputation with moralistic rightousness.

He said, "People work hard, they pay their taxes, they save up to go to one of his shows. They buy the tickets. He is taking the money from those tickets and he, as far as I can see, is putting all of that into some very "dodgy" morally wrong tax avoiding schemes."

Post Panama papers, Cameron has applauded Jimmy Carr for rearranging his tax affairs, something Cameron failed to say until he was caught with his privileged spoilt pants down around his ankles.

Obviously you can’t compare Jimmy Carr with Cameron, because Carr earned the money he invested, and Cameron’s cash was gifted to him.

06 Apr 2016

What it means when Dave says he has... 

“No Plans”

What you don’t find in the Tory Manifesto.


Time-share, No-share

5 Years Ago

6 April 2011

...bound by circumstance and mutual antipathy. They hated each other.

#Florida #timeshare

05 Apr 2016

04 Apr 2016

The Panamanian List of Names

#PanamaPapers #hippo #shoestringonline

The idea that the filthy rich pay their share of tax is so discredited that it barely deserves consideration.

The naming and shaming of tax avoiders, who should know better, might just be the wake up call for, and the downfall of, the Tory alternative.

David Cameron regards his father's tax arrangements, and his inheritance as "private", but his "policy" of challenging aggressive tax avoidance was, however unconvincing, a promise and an unequivocal pledge unless we are all deaf, dumb, and blind.

Donald Trump failed to publish his tax returns. Yes, the is a global scandal uncovered by the Panamanian whistle blower.

The poor and the disabled have been humiliated and shamed by their dependency on the state. But now each tax avoider in turn will be named and shamed and reminded that the train has left the station, to use or misuse Jeremy Hunt's metaphor for a political apocalypse.

The first name on a very long list is familiar...



Ahh! Bush Country?

5 Years Ago

1 April 2011 


Colonel Gaddafi: 

“You take me for a fool. I shall be exiled. Take me to Best Buy”

#Gaddafi #Bush #Republicans

Asleep on the Job


3 Apr 2016

Sajid Javid has now said on Andrew Marr (BBC) that reports that he blocked tariffs on Chinese imports including steel were "misleading". In fact he repeated the irreconcilable opposite assertion that he was leading the EU with specific steel related tariffs. The conversations he had with the EU are hardly plausible given the actual UK vote against tariffs including steel.

He also confirmed “conversations” with TATA steel and pre-knowledge of last week's Mumbai TATA conference, contradicting other accounts that he was unaware of the TATA meeting. Hence the Sajid Javid "business" trip to Australia with his daughter.

TATA have already denied conversations with Sajid Javid that he and other Tory spinners refer to as gospel.

2 Apr 2016

Asleep on the Job

If there was ever an import-export tariff war between Britain and China it was never a conflict that Britain was going to win alone, without European unified clout.

China was about to close the door on British goods including steel because it is now in their interest to do so, and when it happened our Tory government was asleep.

Europe has the scale and the motivation to confront Chinese dumping and Tariffs but our little Englanders in Downing Street were so full of themselves that they failed to support, and in fact blocked a unified European initiative to resist and respond to those inevitable Chinese tariffs.

They also failed to see it coming or apply due diligence.

British taxpayers finance Tory Sajid Javid's department which has oversight of British Interests.

#SajidJavid #Asleep #steeltariff

1 April  2016


This was recorded one April Fools' Day. I have no idea where it came from. It was just a bit of spontaneous foolishness. Music Recorded circa 2008.


subscribe if you please

#muso #aprilfool

29 Mar 2016


Library closures are back on the political agenda.

This is our little scoop on this subject.

28 January 2014


Southend Council.

How very Fahrenheit 451?

#pulpfiction #sameoldtories

29 Mar 2016

Boris Johnson.

Liar, conman and prime minister?

#Democracy #ElectoralReform #Sameoldtories

28 Mar 2016


Matching Mole

O Caroline

#mostbeautiful #love #song #muso

Cannot think of a more beautiful love song produced by a prog-rock band featuring the unique voice of Robert Wyatt who had a thing about Caroline Coon, as we all did.


27 Mar 2016



Nicky Morgan defends George Osborne's Toxic Tory Spring Budget, March 2016

#IDSresignation #disability

24 Mar 2016

Long White Trousers


Sue Barker's Frilly Pink Knickers

#NovakDjokovic #hormones

Novak Djokovic entered the minefield of the "equal prize money" debate this week as many players have done so before him. He has since been trying to diffuse the minefield with some uncomfortably unconvincing grovelling. He should have known not to mention “hormones.”

World number one says male tennis players should earn more money than their female counterparts because more people watch them play, but that is not what he meant to say?

Novak Djokovic's career prize money is currently...


Serena Williams career prize money is currently...


Factor in the sponsorship and these sums become ever more obscene.

Novak and Serena are both pampered with private jets and huge entourages of gofers.

The notion that the elite players should be rewarded in terms of their effort to achieve such prizes is clearly anachronistic. The effort required of lowly ranked players without private jets and no cash, is clearly so much greater.

Serena has argued for equality of prize money on the grounds that it be disrespectful of her status as the equal of Novak Djokovic. She might of course hand back that prize money and direct the public gaze to her  glorious  tennis record, but that is unlikely to happen.

Novak is busy recanting his view and might also want to repay his prize money so it might be redistributed amongst the lower ranked players so they can make ends meet.

Now that would be something that would take the greed out of tennis and return it to the good old amateur days, when there was no drug abuse, but many a long white trouser, and Sue Barker's frilly pink knickers to excite and delight us all in equal measure.

22 Mar 2016

Which Tory is Lying?

According to Nicky Morgan who has been out there defending Osborne's "mistake" on all the media platforms with that ever-startled look of a rabbit caught in the headlights, the Tory Cabinet including IDS, were all briefed collectively before the budget was announced by George Osborne.

IDS says otherwise of course.

What gives?

“We listen and learn from mistakes," said Osborne today without clarifying who the "we" were and pointedly unapologetic to the disabled recipients of PIPs who were scared to death last week by the “mistake”.

Which Tory is lying?

#IDSresignation #disabilty


Iain Duncan Smith claims to have been given no notice of the "disability" welfare cuts announced by George Osborne's Spring budget last week.

If we are to applaud politicians for their ability to disguise their politcal objectives, then this cuts the IDS biscuit. On Marr this morning he would have us believe that he is politically left of Osborne and Cameron which is some mother of a claim to make.

I find myself believing him because I have written so much copy exposing Cameron and Osborne as hippos, fakes, and political A-hole disingenuous mavericks.

But nobody saw this happening within hours of Osborne's big day with the rouge dispatch box.

    Iain Duncan Smith. Left of Cameron?

#IDSresignation #disability

3 Most Read Stories  last 30 Days as follows...  

Cash for Votes

Dear Alan Mabott

Conservative Director of Organisation

#sameoldtories  #cashforvotes #electionexpenses


Yo’ mama
says the NHS is underfunded and you should do better.

Yo’ mama
says don’t be a petulant brat.

#answerthequestiondave #pmqs

Sand Dollars

5 Years Ago


“Who gives a shit?”

#Florida #Seashells

3 Most Read Stories   last 12 Months..  as follows...

17 March  2015

Goldfish AV and Amnesia

A fish called Colin

#PR #AV #SameOldTories

12 March 2013

The Filthy Rich


make the "market economy",  look extremely foolish.


 22 March  2015

NHS For Sale

The Special relationship and  where money is the object.

#Hunt #NHS #SameOldTories



subscribe, no charge...

Love is a very splendid thing. A movie called "Love" was created by us Monks at Shoestringonline. We then discovered that there were 10,729 movies on vimeo with the same title. Most seem to be syrup, or church, or just bad, or all three. Surely there would be enough to start a Love Channel. Love Channel was born, or was there already a Love Channel. Apparently not.

Other Popular Stories  last 12 Months..  as follows...  

21 July 2015

The Hard Disc

GPs follow procedures informed by a computer programme #alzheimers #NeverForget #NHS

29 January 2016

Osborne's Lesser Britain

The catalyst for the Great Britain sell off

#sameoldtories #Britainforsale #Osborne

23 January 2016

Michael Fallon MP Secretary of State for Defence

Stranger than Strangelove

When should we duck and cover under the table?

#sameoldtories #Fallon #Trump

9 March 2006

British Gas, You’re Fired

A strangely popular but very old story. #Gas #Consumer

18 May 2015

Toxic Tories

So why are Tories so determined to find fault with the NHS?

#Hunt #NHS #SameOldTories

12 December 2009

Revenge of the Telephobic Revisited

#coldcalling #telephobic

The Untouchables

27 June 2013

George Osborne would rather choke on a pheasant than......

hard working privileges

29 September 2014

Pride and Privilege.

Osborne’s contrary rhetoric.

6 Aug 2015

Corbyn and The Processed Peas

Jeremy Corbyn is uniquely able to oppose the Tories.#Corbyn  #ProcessedPeas #BrianEno

27 December 2015

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

I could not sleep and I could not stay awake


Miss Putupon’s Last Lesson

21 December 2011 It was the last lesson of the afternoon before Christmas.

#Education #DHLawrence







Unmade Films





Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day         Leslie Monk



















Go to FRONTPAGE 2016A  2015D  2015C 2015B 2015A 2014B 2014A 2013B, 2013A, 2012B, 2012A 2011B, 2011A , 2010, 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005 and 2004

  Complain, Applaud, or Comment  CONTACT Shoestringonline