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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day         Leslie Monk





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6 October 2015

Dear George Osborne

Thank you for your email today.

You begin with “could not be clearer”

If I can predict so clearly what you might say then it is pretty obvious that what you might say is not what you think but what a committee of conservatives have told you to think and that you are not the thinker you aspire to be.

Sorry to embarrass you in this way but what you say is a crock.

#gove #smug #tory #osborne

5 October 2015

Could not be clearer?

Why is the Tory audience in Manchester applauding a Chancellor who cannot do simple arithmetic.

The Tory conference speakers have all been told to lead with assertions that they have an “historic” mandate from the British Public to do as they please. Gove's triumphalism was laid on thick with layers of congealed BS. Osborne today likewise claimed the British public had made their wishes clear, and that much "could not be clearer".

I beg to differ.  The 23.5% electoral mandate the Tories achieved is not a majority that any democrat would or should ever recognise.

If the Tories doubled their mandate it still would not be a majority of the electorate.


the little number that refuses to be a majority because it is too damn little

#gove #smug #tory

Goldfish named Colin should also take note.

Top Story Trending This Last Month.

The Hard Disc

GPs follow procedures informed by a computer programme #alzheimers #NeverForget #NHS

27 September 2015


#serpentine #pavilion #architecture

We have struggled to get into London this Summer, but somehow  made it to the Serpentine Pavilion before it is removed 18th October. This year the pavilion was designed by Spanish born architects José Selgas and Lucía Cano, "selgascano." This is what we found.


Toxic Tories

Addenbrooke’s “failure” is proof that Toxic Tories are bad for your health.

23 September 2015

Shelfies and Selfies

Is it possible that a Shelfie is more revealing than a Selfie? This set of Pictures examines this profound question.

Warts and all Work in Progress.

21 September 2015

Hello Dave

I happen to find pigs irresistible, but not in that way. There, I said it.

Sorry about all the Porkie references on the Hippo pages. No offence!

I was of course referring to your failure to tell the complete truth and all that political misrepresentation, and not at all to any alleged dark side which is none of my business.


Beware of Tory donors with deep pockets is my advice.

And of the stupid infantile Tory youth, far too keen to ingratiate and defend you in such great detail, as if they were there,.... when you did IT, allegedly. Very strange that they would drop you in it in this way.

#Mensch  #Toby

Impressive timing by Lord Ashcroft, you have to admit that such deep pockets can achieve so much revenge. Empty pockets and you are fucked.



Mr Corbyn will be kind to you.

That is your only hope.

Jeremy Corbyn.

#Dave #Porkies #Piggate

20 September 2015

Dog Dreams

Uncheesy dreams of old dogs, Corbyn and Charlie.

#dream #Corbyn #dog

14 Sep 2015

 Eric, the Vulgar Gnome

The “Compassionate Conservative” David Cameron has failed to impress Eric on this and all occasions.

More Eric and other political images.

Politics and Conflict.

13 Sep 2015

Conservative Campaign HQ have also sent me a Fascist-like Graphic hostile to Jeremy Corbyn.

It is quite clear that Warmongers and Scaremongers do not like Jeremy Corbyn.

12 Sep 2015

PMQS’ dream first question.

JC wrote to me today and asked me to suggest a question for David Cameron.

My suggestion as follows....

David Cameron, the people that elected me the leader of the Labour Party want to know what you meant, 5 years ago by promising that those with the “broadest shoulders” would bear the greatest burden of austerity.”

Did you intend to make the poorest poorer and the “broadest shoulders”  to have a lesser burden today, 5 years later?

David Cameron will then answer with a prepared list of Tory “achievements” unrelated to the question.

JC should then refer the matter to the speaker and politely demand an appropriate answer.

Mr Corbyn has a significant mandate to change Westminster.

Mr Cameron has a 23.5% mandate to represent the UK..


 11 September

Unhappy Anniversary

Postcard from Oblivion

8 Sep 2015




The word has caught on and is clearly intended to be pejorative and intended to undermine Jeremy Corbyn. See above for Gideonomics


Below are the lyrics for a song in need of a tune.


George Osborne, the Tory blight

Liz Kendal, the Tory light

Cameron and Tony Blair

Won the day, but lost the year.


Find a fault in Jeremy 

So why not blame the BBC.


"Corbynomics" are absurd

Not a brand but a brand new word.


Yvette Cooper, Tory light.

JC says to make it right

Andy may Burnup the fight.

Before the dawn into the night


Gideon, the Tory Blight

God forbid the Tory Light 

Cameron and Tony Blair

May win the day but lose the year.


"Corbynomics" are absurd

Not a brand

 But a brand new word.

One Year ago George Osborne wrote to me thinking I was a Tory. This page continues to be read on these pages.

hard working privileges

29 September 2014

Pride and Privilege.

Osborne’s contrary rhetoric.

29 Aug 2015


Red or White Wine? "I have paid up my National Insurance in full," she explained  #Hippo #NHS #A&E

27 Aug 2015


Toby Young here inadvertently compares Michael Foot who lost the 1983 Election for Labour with David Cameron who won the 2015 election for the Tories.

This says a lot about Toby Young but also about the ridiculous, undemocratic electoral system we have in Great Britain currently being exploited by the Bullingdon Boys.

28% ? That would mean Michael Foot did better in 1983 than David Cameron who only secured 23.5% of the electorate in May 2015.

Goldfish named Colin should also take note.

27 Aug 2015

Venus and the Gas Bill

Cardboard and glue and grandiose what-if notions.

#AnitaRoddick #lifeclass #art

24 Aug 2015


Was just a game away from beating the world No 1 in the Semi-Final just two days ago in CINCINNATI.

Read the story below if you please.

Today he must attempt to qualify for the US Open, while Novak Djokovic takes a week's rest and prepares for the last 2015 major in New York.

#Netgate #Djockovic #DOLGOPOLOV


24 Aug 2015

Art Stream by Mr and Mrs Mrs Monk

Mrs Monk has returned to her sketch book and the art supply emporium.

22 Aug 2015

Novak Djokovic’s Dark Side And Yet Another Melbourne Moment

#Netgate #Djockovic


There was yet another so called #Netgate incident this week.

Novak Djockovic cannot continue to claim he does not know the rules forbidding a player from playing a ball on the opponents side of the net but continues to do so, and yes making excuses for doing so.

But its much worse than that.

So, what might have happened to Novak today if he was a set down and in a losing position in the second deciding set of a Cincinnati Masters Semi Final against a lowly ranked Dolgopolov who was playing out of his skin and about to beat him, Novak,, the world No 1?

You’ve guessed it, yet another “Melbourne Moment.”  Yes, Novak Djokovic was again suffering today, possibly dying of a diaphragm issue and if not, certainly in danger of jeopardising his upcoming US Open opportunity.

That was the the opinion of the pundits on Sky as it happened, and in due course the trainer and the Doctor appeared and administered a long pause and a “time out”. This would be what is commonly recognised to be cheating or what we might call yet another Novak Djokovic “Melbourne Moment.”

Andy Murray is a player that would never cheat in this way and in Cincinnati he has put his body and soul through incredible effort and pain without cheating, such is his  fundamental desire not to lose but  to win fairly. 


Mr Dolgopolov should consider the considerable deficit in his earnings this week and by who or how his earnings were diminished.


The following I wrote in June.

Professional Tennis Fouls

The Novak Djokovic character flaws are not disguised by his PR smile. We don’t buy it.

7 June 2015

22 Aug 2015


Readers of theses pages will know that senior Tories wrote to me frequently during the lead up to the General Election, but not so since the election.

For some reason David Cameron, George Osborne, Michael Gove, Ian Duncan Smith et al, assumed that I am Tory and wrote to tell me what they thought as if I might be happy to agree with them. I discovered that allowing them to think I supported them, meant that their language was inclined to be more Tory than it might otherwise have been if they thought I was a floating voter.

It never occurred to me that I might be corrupting their mail box,  but what of these so called "entryist" Labour subscribers? We are told that some cocky Tories like Toby Young intentionally undermined the Labour leadership contest by pretending to be Labour  supporters in order to damage Labour. Apparently their intervention, in that case means that someone may get sued for the Labour Party financial losses.  Toby Young was the first to brag about the scam and he should of course be the first to be sued. 

Louise Mensch's ham fisted attempts to corrupt the process on Twitter disclosed her feeble and questionable search engine history, says a lot about her desire to be noticed, and failed to undermine her target, Jeremy Corbyn.

  #LouiseMenschwhatever #TobyYoung

16 Aug 2015

Dear Gordon

You had my full attention this afternoon.

Your intervention today, designed to scupper Jeremy Corbyn was brilliant, and in fact moving. I say so without cynicism.

Whoever and whatever might replace the failed challenge of Ed Miliband, it should not be more of the same.

The Labour Processed Peas might attempt to set themselves apart from the Tory pretenders that have conned their way into the middle ground formerly occupied by New Labour, but they cannot. Only the boldest lies might succeed in the middle ground.

When today you cited Nelson Mandela and compared him to the “hope”  you expect to be provided by Labour Processed Peas, and the he or the she who you thought might prevail in the leadership contest, I do despair. There, I admit to cynicism.

Cannot wait to see Jeremy at the dispatch box, representing men of our age, and able to inspire young voters who are old enough to know a decent old man when they see one.

I expect Jeremy Corbyn to demand the disposal of the dispatch box and all other parliamentary paraphernalia. That would be a good start for a better Britain.

This would be the hope worth having.

11 Aug 2015

Cuckoo Art

This new Vimeo Channel would be where you might find homespun "music" created by Monks. aka Cuckoo Spit. These music videos refer to the Art World in some way or another.

6 Aug 2015

Corbyn and The Processed Peas

Jeremy Corbyn is uniquely able to oppose the Tories.#Corbyn  #ProcessedPeas #BrianEno

10 Years Ago

The Blood Of A Frenchman

High Street Angel

28 July 2015

My daily task is to park on double yellow lines as Mrs Monk "runs" into M and S for supper or a sandwich. On this occasion this homeless lady haunted me with a prolonged unblinking stare, or at least until I was distracted by another lady, a beautiful young lady with a strident purposeful step.
Why would a man not notice such a girl?
But then I watched her change direction in a heartbeat, approach the homeless lady, exchange a few words and then stride into Greggs to buy lunch for the old lady. And without a second of delay and hesitation she strode off down the high street. It was all done in less than a minute.
Mrs Monk had reappeared and recorded this moment on her phone.
Sadly she missed the smile that broke out on the old lady’s face long after the angel had departed.

Poor People

Pictures of People with reduced expectations and humble means.

27 July 2015

Lord Sewel and Jeremy Hunt

Who has the moral high ground? 

Lord Sewel held the role of chairman of committees in the House of Lords and apparently has an unrelated dark side that he kept to himself until the Sun newspaper intervened..

Jeremy Hunt had an inappropriate relationship with Murdoch’s newspapers, stole money from the tax payer in the expenses scandal, was found out, repaid the money because he was found out, and became the Minister in charge of the NHS. You could not make it up.

Who has the moral high ground?


Dear Jeremy Hunt....

He was ideologically opposed to the NHS, so they made him Health Secretary. Stories related to The NHS are posted here.

26 July 2015


The concealment of  identify is the theme that connects this set of pictures.

21 July 2015

The Hard Disc

GPs follow procedures informed by a computer programme #alzheimers #NeverForget #NHS

19 July 2015

Davis Cup Win over France

And Murray Cries Again

There was a time when Andy Murray declined to play Davis Cup, when there was no realistic chance of winning, and perhaps because it would have damaged his chances of winning the greater prizes in tennis.

For that he was unfairly characterised as unpatriotic.

But then came Andy Murray's Grand Slam wins, the Olympics, and above all the emergence of new British players, most notably Dan Evans and now the new giant killer, James Ward.

This weekend Ward played his part without affecting the outcome of the tie, but without him of course there would have been no tie this weekend.

Andy Murray and Great Britain did require the participation of his brother Jamie yesterday to secure The Davis Cup Win over France but the greater burden was for Andy who was required to play all three energy sapping days.

I had noted before that Murray only cries when he loses, but not on this occasion.

Respect for the French team who applauded Murray and recognised his achievement this weekend, however the Murray trolls, who are never pleased, have already found new ways to deny him the credit he deserves.



16 July 2015

So why is Jeremy Hunt and other politicians like Daniel Hannan so determined to find fault with the NHS?

Jeremy Hunt has decided today that our Doctors are at fault and not the Trusts that “manage” the hospitals and not the Politicians like him that fail to provide the funds to support the NHS, whilst always pretending unconvincingly that they do.

Toxic Tories

Mrs Monk’s Bus Stop Pictures

15 July 2015

Recycling Man

14 July 2015

The Leigh Upon Sea Tip, otherwise known as the Recycling Centre,  is the subject and the venue for the photography in this set of pictures all snapped by Mrs Monk with a surprising passion.

A Week In London

2 July 2005 Live 8

6 July 2005 Olympic Bid

7 July 2005 Bugger the Bombers

1 July 2015

Most read story on these pages in the last twelve months

The Untouchables

27 June 2013

George Osborne would rather choke on a pheasant than......

Hasta la vista.

28 June 2015

...disbelief of various guises and political disguises of Arnold Schwarzenegger  et al.

27 June 2015

Gay Pride

Mrs Monk surprised me this morning by finding two miniature water colours in a cupboard with my name on them.

This link will send you to a Flickr file of artwork, not necessarily on this topic.

25 June 2015

Election Promises Unraveling

David Cameron has stopped referring to his family tragedy when questioned about the NHS because there are no votes in it now.

Promises made in the weeks up to the election are now unravelling on a daily basis. Today the Rail Network investment promised during the election campaign, is "paused", (commonly understood to mean, cancelled).

 Yesterday the Commons was invaded by an angry mob of militant disabled citizens in wheelchairs determined to highlight the cruelty of Cameron's austerity cuts not explicitly disclosed but implied by this government.

Cameron is so programmed to blame "the last Government", he did so repeatedly in yesterday's PMQs without realising that he was the leader of the "the last Government".

21 June 2015

The Water Cooler

The Paul Daniels, so called out-loud by the nurse, is not the famed diminutive conjurer married to Debbie McGee..........

11 June 2015

Reality and Unreality

reclaiming the means of visual expression

11 June 2015

Yarn Bomb Pirate Stolen.

Chalkwell commuters, who have suffered enough, will no longer be greeted by this crowd pleasing woolen marauder at Chalkwell Station.

Professional Tennis Fouls

The Novak Djokovic character flaws are not disguised by his PR smile. We don’t buy it.

7 June 2015

Recent Pictures of London

By Sara Monk, Pictures are added and subtracted from this collection from time to time.

Most read story on these pages this last month.

The Filthy Rich

 Ken Loach may well be promoting a new polemical movie but his knowledge of the economy makes anyone who supports our "market economy", look extremely foolish.



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Love is a very splendid thing. A movie called "Love" was created by us Monks at Shoestringonline. We then discovered that there were 10,729 movies on vimeo with the same title. Most seem to be syrup, or church, or just bad, or all three. Surely there would be enough to start a Love Channel. Love Channel was born, or was there already a Love Channel. Apparently not.


Selected By Others

These pictures were chosen, for whatever reason, by readers of these pages and not by the editor, nor the photographer, usually Mrs Monk.


If you don’t like this you are almost certainly a Tory


Items designed to be useful or important for only a short time and/or occasionally embedded with prescient significance.

Photos by Sara Monk.


1 April  2015


This was recorded one April Fools' Day. I have no idea where it came from. It was just a bit of spontaneous foolishness. Music Recorded circa 2008.


subscribe if you please

Selected By Others

These pictures were chosen, for whatever reason, by readers of these pages and not by the editor, nor the photographer, usually Mrs Monk.

1.derogatory  ( Brit ) a musician, esp a pop musician, regarded as being overconcerned with technique rather than musical content or expression
2.( Austral ) any musician, esp a professional one



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  Complain, Applaud, or Comment  CONTACT Shoestringonline

3 Most Read Stories  last 30 Days as follows...  

The Hard Disc

GPs follow procedures informed by a computer programme #alzheimers #NeverForget #NHS

hard working privileges

29 September 2014

Pride and Privilege.

Osborne’s contrary rhetoric.

18 May 2015

Toxic Tories

So why are Tories so determined to find fault with the NHS?

4 Most Read Stories   last 12 Months..  as follows...

17 March  2015

Goldfish AV and Amnesia

A fish called Colin

12 March 2013

The Filthy Rich


make the "market economy",  look extremely foolish.

The Untouchables

27 June 2013

George Osborne would rather choke on a pheasant than......

Other Popular Stories  last 12 Months..  as follows...  

6 Aug 2015

Corbyn and The Processed Peas

Jeremy Corbyn is uniquely able to oppose the Tories.#Corbyn  #ProcessedPeas #BrianEno

The Water Cooler

The Paul Daniels, so called out-loud by the nurse, is not the famed diminutive conjurer married to Debbie McGee..........

All Legal

4 December 2012

"It is all legal, look at the rules book."

7 June 2015

Professional Tennis Fouls

The Novak Djokovic character flaws are not disguised by his PR smile. We don’t buy it.


 22 March 2015

NHS For Sale

The Special relationship and  where money is the object.

24 September 2009

Revenge of The Telephobic

a surreal conversation with a lady salesperson, selling indeterminate goods.

31 MARCH 2014

Tory DNA

So clever of the Chancellor to bribe pensioners with their own money.

24 Sep 2013

Stifled Spin

You will have heard Ed Balls volunteer to have his spending pledges assessed by the Treasury.

Vocation or Vacation

15 December 2013

MP’s PAY, a free lunch and a subsidised bar.

Last Year’s Foodbank Christmas Card

David Cameron is still in denial and has turned down  £100s of Millions of  EU Cash for Foodbanks . Cameron wants to be seen fighting for EU money but he does not want it for the UK poor.

21 August 2014

Tory Mugs for Mugs

Grant Shapps, You’ve made my day.

3 April 2010

Farmville Meat is Murder

7 October 2013

Feckless In Need

bankers were found short of competence in charge of pension contributions

3 August 2014

Osborne's Recession

For pity's sake Esther, please wear a vest.

23 May2014


Bring powers back to Boris and away from Brussels?

April Fool

comments on Conservative Party YouTube movie disabled

1 April 2014

Ahh! Bush Country?

1 April 2011 

Colonel Gaddafi:  “You take me for a fool. I shall be exiled. Take me to Best Buy”

Hannan, the Deluded

24 November 2012 Whether or not Daniel Hannan, MEP, should be expelled from the Conservative Party.

11 January 2014

Fear of Buying

"They are a bit dry", she said, "Not fresh", she explained.

19 May 2012


High street giant Currys are not honouring Extended Warranty contracts.

Daily Mail

Exploits Manslaughter of Children