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Unmade Films



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30 May 2016

Hippos and HipOps

#NHS #hunt #shoestringonline #saramo

These Pages are somewhat preoccupied with exposing Hippos' but ten years ago it was very much more about Mrs. Monk, also now known as Saramo on Twitter.

In 2010, I assembled a number of stories that said more about Mrs Monk’s unique qualities and less about Tory bashing.


I was surprised to discover that this old page, that has no current links to it, has had many visitors this last month.

Mrs. Monk had a hip op this week and would like to trumpet the NHS for eliminating the pain in her left leg after 12 months of gyp and pain killers.

Had this government funded the NHS properly her wait for the hip op would certainly have been lessened. “Never complain about the NHS,” she said today.

Certainly not!?

Only complain about the lack of Tory NHS funding and Jeremy Hunt who is on another planet.

29 May 2016

Democracy and The Flag-wavers

the oil slick of insincerity oozed

#sameoldtories  #referendum #toryelectionfraud

22 May 2016

Tory Spin-Mantra

on Marr

#NHS #tory #hunt

The Tory spin is that Jeremy Hunt has secured a "Seven Day NHS", when we do already have a seven day NHS, and the best the NHS could possibly afford to provide given the current  Tory funding.

The Junior Doctor’s dispute is not about pay, or the so called "Seven Day NHS", but nevertheless Andrew Marr's guests both recited today the Tory spin-mantra as if they were making complete sense and not the Tory lie.

17 May 2016


Art by Saramo

Mrs Monk has become active again and her new work will be found in this set of pictures.

#Saramo #art

15 May 2016

The Full Nazi

#Boris #Ken

Boris and Ken have now both done the Full Nazi hyperbole, but only Ken has been suspended. I almost did the Full Nazi when our new Aldi barbecue failed to work but I held myself back for fear of being suspended from lunch and causing offence.

Trump, Putin and Boris all favour Brexit.

Vote IN

Godwin’s Law

15 May 2016

Yet Another,  “Melbourne Moment”

Andy Murray crushed Novak Djokovic in the Rome Masters Final.

Novak was keen to reference his defeat to worries about potential injury to his ankles, but only did so when Murray was about to serve and when Novak was about to lose.

In fact Novak had played badly, by his standards, all week, suffering, with for example an embarrassing bagel by the lowly ranked Bellucci from Brazil in his Quarter Final.

His hissy-fit designed to bully the umpire into calling a favaouble “time-out” rain delay was rejected, and was of course charectorised as yet another “Melbourne Moment”. The sin was componded by Novak’s  bouncing of a racquet into the crowd which may have deffaulted a lower ranked player.

Befitting a Roman coliseum, Twitter adjudged Novak with a resounding thumbs down, and the verdict: sore loser.

Murray enjoyed the conditions and was uncharacteristically calm because he was the better player in all departments  on this day.  



15 May 2016


Became the News for the wrong reasons this week. LauraK was an unpopular Tory person before I found out she was an unpopular Tory “woman”.


10 January 2016

Machiavellian Kuenssberg News



Laura Kuenssberg’s spurious “news” about Jeremy Corbyn.

#Kuenssberg #Corbyn #BBC

10 May 2016

Syd Barrett Tribute

Nine years ago we Monks were privileged to see abundant big names perform Syd Barret Songs at the Barbican.

#SydBarrett #Tribute

10 May 2016


Charlie and the Pigeon

Mrs Monk captured this with my phone.

#Pigeon #Cat

9 May 2016

Trump the Blonde with Penis Envy

#knob #trump

Donald Trump is a blonde and he wants the world to know he has a large penis and that he is a billionaire with  "no problem" with women, and women have "no problem" with him, whatever that means.

The young women who share and adorn the presidential platform with him, do so because his pants are overburdened with manhood and cash.

Trump has still failed to share his tax returns, or drop his pants so on both counts the jury is out.

Trump is however pathologically fixated with his manhood. Any man, woman, or wildebeest would throw up if Trump forced them to bare witness to the status of his knob so I hope he keeps it in his trousers. In fact the very tapping out of this sentence is making me feel nauseous.

Trump continues to question Barack Obama's status as a US citizen in spite of the publication of  Obama's birth certification, this is because he is the idiot with a penis, who may become president of the United States of America,.

Trump told his supporters to punch his opponents in the face and he would pay their legal fees. The man who painted a picture of Donald Trump with a small penis was confronted by a mob of Trump supporters last week, and was punched in the face.

In solidarity with the Californian artist I created this accurate portrait of Donald Trump, albeit from a safe distance from Donald Trump, the Blonde with Penis Envy.

Grant Shapps Squirms

5 May 2016


At last The BBC acknowledges the allegations of Tory Fraud in the last election.

#Democracy #ElectoralReform #BBCBias

4 May 2016

Tory Fraud or Error?

BBC Bias or Objectivity?

#Democracy #ElectoralReform #BBCBias

If you search, "Electoral Fraud" on the BBC website you will not find any mention of the Channel Four allegations of Tory Fraud in the last election.

If you search, "Election Expenses Error", you will find the BBC discussions of the news story which fail to mention the keyword......“fraud”.

1 May 2016


If David Cameron and John Mann disagree with these gentleman does that make them both Anti Semites?

#hippo #torysmear #semantics

26 Apr 2016

Spin the Lie


Hunt and all persons Tory continue to spin the lie that the strike is about greedy junior doctors and not about the futility of an unfunded electoral Tory promise that cannot and will not be fulfilled, by this government.


Currently a popular story on these pages as follows.


Yo’ mama
says the NHS is underfunded and you should do better.

Yo’ mama
says don’t be a petulant brat.

#answerthequestiondave #pmqs

21 Apr 2016

Unhappy Ever After

An extremely vivid dream last night.

Where cool is meaningless and meaninglessness is ever cooler.

#dream #film #noir

Unmade Films


3 Most Read Stories  last 30 Days as follows...  

Cash for Votes

Dear Alan Mabott

Conservative Director of Organisation

#sameoldtories  #cashforvotes #electionexpenses


Yo’ mama
says the NHS is underfunded and you should do better.

Yo’ mama
says don’t be a petulant brat.

#answerthequestiondave #pmqs

Sand Dollars

5 Years Ago


“Who gives a shit?”

#Florida #Seashells

3 Most Read Stories   last 12 Months..  as follows...

17 March  2015

Goldfish AV and Amnesia

A fish called Colin

#PR #AV #SameOldTories

12 March 2013

The Filthy Rich


make the "market economy",  look extremely foolish.


 22 March  2015

NHS For Sale

The Special relationship and  where money is the object.

#Hunt #NHS #SameOldTories



subscribe, no charge...

Love is a very splendid thing. A movie called "Love" was created by us Monks at Shoestringonline. We then discovered that there were 10,729 movies on vimeo with the same title. Most seem to be syrup, or church, or just bad, or all three. Surely there would be enough to start a Love Channel. Love Channel was born, or was there already a Love Channel. Apparently not.

Other Popular Stories  last 12 Months..  as follows...  

21 July 2015

The Hard Disc

GPs follow procedures informed by a computer programme #alzheimers #NeverForget #NHS

29 January 2016

Osborne's Lesser Britain

The catalyst for the Great Britain sell off

#sameoldtories #Britainforsale #Osborne

23 January 2016

Michael Fallon MP Secretary of State for Defence

Stranger than Strangelove

When should we duck and cover under the table?

#sameoldtories #Fallon #Trump

9 March 2006

British Gas, You’re Fired

A strangely popular but very old story. #Gas #Consumer

18 May 2015

Toxic Tories

So why are Tories so determined to find fault with the NHS?

#Hunt #NHS #SameOldTories

12 December 2009

Revenge of the Telephobic Revisited

#coldcalling #telephobic

The Untouchables

27 June 2013

George Osborne would rather choke on a pheasant than......

hard working privileges

29 September 2014

Pride and Privilege.

Osborne’s contrary rhetoric.

6 Aug 2015

Corbyn and The Processed Peas

Jeremy Corbyn is uniquely able to oppose the Tories.#Corbyn  #ProcessedPeas #BrianEno

27 December 2015

Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance

I could not sleep and I could not stay awake


Miss Putupon’s Last Lesson

21 December 2011 It was the last lesson of the afternoon before Christmas.

#Education #DHLawrence







Unmade Films





Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day         Leslie Monk



















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