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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary, should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf.
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day

Leslie Monk



Mrs Monk’s Would-Be Diary .........

A Mess for Hire

12 April 2010

Today I was rude to my Member of Parliament, David Amess. He came to my door to secure my vote in the forthcoming election. I spoke to him. No, .....I yelled at him,  from my kitchen treating him with the same contempt I have for all door-to-door salesman selling unsolicited unwanted disreputable goods.

He has never knocked on my door before, because he has so far had a cosy number, and has not needed to. David Amess represents the constituency where I live, which so far has been a Tory stronghold, Hoewever now he is obliged to try harder, due to his recent misdemeanours.

The Monks are not Tories, heaven forbid, but we Monks are nevertheless obliged to pay David Amess, his wages and of course his expenses, including the food that he eats, and his luxury holidays in the Maldives. And subsequently for the questions he raises in parliament, and on behalf of the citizens of the Maldives.

David Amess is my Member of Parliament. Unknown to me he has claimed 400 per month for the food that he eats.

And then we discovered that while he claimed these generous expenses in order to enable him to represent the Monks, he was enjoying free luxury holidays in the paradise islands of the Maldives, in 2007, 2008, and 2009.

And then of course he failed to declare the freebees.

These holidays were paid for by the impoverished Maldivians in exchange for Amess' lobbying  in the Houses of Parliament, on their behalf. The value of this representation of the Maldivians is considerable and the Maldivians were not out of pocket, in these transactions. Mr Amess enjoyed his perk at our expense and then arrived at our door today, asking me to give him my vote, or he would have done so if I allowed him to speak.

Today I was rude to David Amess. His vote-for-me smile, turned to a sour sulk of a disappointed Tory boy.

David Amess is not only a abuser of public money he is also a fool.

Here he is duped by Brass Eye.


David Amess’ constituency: The Maldives

David Amess, on Brass Eye


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