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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary, should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf.
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day

Leslie Monk

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Mrs Monk’s Would-Be Diary .........

How to Amuse a Gangster

 14 October 2010

We dined at Antonio's where the same waiters and the same strange owner repeated  the same jokes they shared with us in June.

The waiter told us again about his sister who he claims is a nun, apparently in order to entertain us.

The owner is a strange man who, appeared half way through the evening just as he did in June and attempted to charm the customers with more unfunny stories, whilst actually alienating them by changing channels on the TV, and removing the England game, He also annoyed his staff by changing the music to his taste, and no one else’s.

Our waiter went through the rigmarole of attempted sales, and was impatient with Mrs Monk’s attempted jokes until we both told him to relax, meaning to leave us alone. We were just one of two tables occupied in the restaurant, until that is three street wise black Portuguese men appeared just as a third free glass of Brandy was free-poured by our newly relaxed waiter.

Mrs Monk was feeling more than usually loose by this time, and asked one of them if they had met before. I think she thought he was a footballer but when she got a blank response. She joked about visiting him in Gaol. This they found hilarious and one of them almost fell off his chair.

A continuous repartee ensued and the brandy continued to flow copiously but when Mrs Monk alluded to the three of them being in a gang, there was an unmistakable frisson . A nerve was struck and it was no longer a joke. We paid the bill and got out of there without looking back.

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This they found hilarious and one of them almost fell off his chair.

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