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JenaDesigns for Building Plans on CAD for  Planning Permission

Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day         Leslie Monk




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Birdsong Ice Cream Chimes

The Mock the Week TV show joked about the new relaxation of the law that inhibits the annoying sound of Ice Cream Van chimes.


Chimes can now play for up to twelve seconds rather than four by statute; and once every two minutes, instead of three. The joke being that children are so obese that they need more time to run to the chimes to get their sugary fix.

Did not know that such bizarre restrictions apply, but maybe the draconian rules just may have saved us from overdosing on the Greensleaves theme tune that would otherwise have been repeated endlessly all summer.


We Monks have conducted a survey and we note that the following Summer garden sounds are as follows and here listed in the order of the annoyance they cause.

  • Bird song is the least annoying of all ambient garden sounds.

  • An Ice Cream Van chiming for four seconds is found charming, nostalgic, reassuring, pleasurable and inoffensive.

  • Ice Cream vans chiming for twelve seconds. Still charming and all of the above, but enough already.

  • Neighbours talking. Acceptable and reassuring.

  • Neighbours talking rubbish under the influence of alcohol. Worrying.

  • Neighbours playing Radio One in their garden, broadcasting it to the neighbourhood. No thank you.

  • Neighbours doing Karaoke in the Garden. They obviously hate us.

  • Neighbours complaining about Bird song and wildlife interrupting their outdoor Karaoke party. Complete bastards.

 The RSPB have encouraged us to feed and water wild birds in our gardens, particularly right now when it is so very scorchio. The Monks endorse this message.

I have heard that some neighbours have complete antipathy for wildlife and some even complain about the sound of Goldfish gulping at the surface of a pond. It's true.


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by  Monkles  21 July 2013

Birdsong, yes please.

Neighbours playing their Radio One in their garden broadcasting it to the neighbourhood, no thank you.

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