Bob the stray alley cat has more rights than a Calais refugee or an economic migrant.
Britons hate and love cats in equal measure, more or less commensurate with the recent EU Brexit referendum outcome. 52:48.
Cats know this, and that would explain why Bob has kept his distance from us for some weeks; during this time Bob cased our back garden from the safe haven of the back alley jungle where we park the car.
He hangs out there permanently beyond the boundary defined by a locked gate, a shed and a long larch fence. Bob seeks a better life and a free meal on our side of the boundary. Cat Flap Charlie opposes his application for free movement into back garden.
There has been no referendum to determine the free movement of Bob who is determined and won’t give up. Charlie is equally determined; his way of life, and the privilege he has become accustomed to, depend upon his ability to maintain the status quo.
It could get ugly.
We Monks have the last say and we are happy to welcome Bob who is strangely respectful of all boundaries including the fence.
Britons love their garden fences because “tall fences make good neighbours.” as they say. This would certainly be the received wisdom in our experience.
Had Donald Trump tried that logic on the Mexicans, he might have won the argument. and got them to pay for his proposed wall.
"I’m not going to pay for that fucking wall," is the Mexican quote that made us all laugh. I would like to think that the Mexicans may have feted Trump for his wisdom had he used the very British nuanced diplomacy, and had not been such an arsehole.
However, a garden fence is not necessarily the means by which a cat is refused entry, it can also be the means by which a cat in a sombrero might secure entry.
The larch fences to which I refer is intended to deny neighbours access to other neighbours, but to a cat it is a convenient 2 metre high elevated feline pathway from one source of food to another.
The fence which defines legal ownership of land and property to humankind, may be traversed at will by Bob if he had the will to do so.
But it is not the fence that keeps Bob in his place; it is of course Cat Flap Charlie who is most determined to keep him out.
Food has been placed alley-side of the border to accommodate Bob's needs.
So, now the word, “free-lunch” has got about and the 2m. high larch-fence-highway has become a major thoroughfare. Cat Flap Charlie is on border control and has his work cut out, day and night.
And yes, Mrs. Monk has just told me that Bob is pregnant?!
Question begging: What would Theresa May do about it?