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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day         Leslie Monk

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Boys will be Arseholes

by  Monk 3 December 2011

Three Jeremy Clarksons walked into a bar.

“How many Jeremy Clarksons does it take to change a lightbulb?”  Said one Jeremy Clarkson.

“I dont know”, said another, “because I have not read the BBC script”

“The script says you want to shoot Dinner Ladies. That is a very funny joke,” said a third Jeremy Clarkson.

A fourth jerk said “kerching” thus suggesting the sound of a cash register, in an amusing way.

Another Jeremy Clarkson said,  “How many young men have died imitating Jeremy Clarkson behaviour on British Roads?”

“Enough?” one speculated, “Or not enough?” said another.

“There is only one Jeremy Clarkson,” said the seventh ironic Jeremy Clarkson, “and he is an Arsehole.”

The forty second Jeremy Clarkson said, “There is only one Jeremy Clarkson, and he is a complete Arsehole.”

Jeremy Clarkson died in a horrible plane crash, on Christmas Day. The news broke and we all  laughed farting Brussel sprout air.

Clarkson shared last Christmas with David Cameron, and soon thereafter, a raising of the speed limit was proposed by her majesty's government.

Boys will be Arseholes.

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The news broke and we all  laughed farting Brussel sprout air.

Dedicated to  the ambulance service and heroic medics who clear up the mess on the A13 created by Clarksons everywhere.

And to those defenders of Clarkson, who say Clarkson has no political agenda and that it was just a joke, pull the other one.