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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day         Leslie Monk

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The Dent

by  Monkles 17 August 2013

Parking Issues have been discussed frequently on these pages.

When we got the first dent in the then brand new car we took it philosophically and were almost relieved that we would never get a first dent again. Now "Big Wheels" has more dents than a Kursaal dodgem.

Finding a parking space near the Monkhouse is a bit like this movie depiction, so we have long since realised the futility of buying another brand new car.

Yesterday Mrs Monk came home and was particularly agitated because she had attempted to park into a small space and was berated by a neighbour who saw her bump into her mini "three times".  Mrs Monk reported to me that the woman was a nutter and that she had told her that she would get me to talk about it..

Thank you very much, Mrs Monk.

As it happens I had a tennis match to get to, but not before I would need to confront the "nutter" that Mrs Monk had upset, and who was demanding compensation for damage done.

Then I discovered that there was not just one lone “nutter” but three ladies of the same family, representing three generations.

The "nutter" was the grandmother who made the first verbal assault on Mrs Monk.

"You can't drive"

"Look what you've done?"

"We've just had that fixed. It cost 60"

"Don't you dare park around here anymore"

When Mrs Monk denied bumping into her car the grandmother asked her granddaughter to confirm that Mrs Monk had bumped into to their car. Apparently the little girl just shrugged her shoulders and disappointed the grandmother.

"Trust you not to support me", the grandmother said to granddaughter.

That much was reported to me by Mrs Monk.

I was then obliged to moderate in the middle of the road with the actual owner of the car, who was in fact the daughter who did her best to calm her mother down but as we considered the damage the grandmother frequently interjected pointing at Mrs Monk.

"She can't drive"

"Look what she has done?"

"We've just had that fixed. It cost 60"

"Don't you dare park around here anymore"

Mrs Monk denied unconvincingly that she had bumped into the car.

The damage to a plastic decal on the bumper was a small dent as if the mini had been struck by a pointed object about the size of finger. I looked at our car and found no object that would make the damage they claim was made by Mrs Monk.

The daughter was reasonably relaxed and I told her that she is free to make a claim on our insurance. I left Mrs Monk to exchange insurance details, but then I had to leave because I was now late for tennis.

I got into the car and I am not saying I did it deliberately, but I looked back  at the grumbling grandmother standing by with folded arms, and bumped into the Mini attempted to get out of the tight space that Mrs Monk had parked .

"He can't drive either"

Such fun.

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the grumbling grandmother standing by with folded arms