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Dave's  Dmail

David Cameron sent me an Email today and we had a debate as follows....

Dear Monkles,

"Today marks seven months since the General Election; seven months since the British people gave this government and this party an important responsibility: to deliver on our commitments for stability, security and opportunity for the working people of Britain."

Dear Dave,

That seems like an extravagant claim?

Dear Monkles,

“This year, we’ve seen more people in work than at any time in our history; more of our children starting university than ever before; more British entrepreneurs setting up shop than anywhere else in Europe”.

Dear Dave,

Really? That also seems like an extravagant and shall we say, misleading claim?

Did you see Dispatces last night on Channel 4. Next are paying apprentices 3.30 per hour.

Dear Monkles,

“Because of your support, we are now able to deliver on what we said we would do in our manifesto – a plan for every stage of your life”.

Dear Dave,

You are not exactly known for delivering on what you told the nation on TV so maybe you should  say sorry for that and then the electorate wont feel so cheated. Tax credits? What was all that about? Were you just trying it on? Not good. Makes you look shifty if you know what I mean.

Dear Monkles,

“We’re building a country that deals with its debts and lives within its means – taking Britain out of the red and into the black by 2020”.

Dear Dave,

Quite Right Dave. the fifth richest nation on the planet ought to be able pay their way. Just who in Britain is not paying their dues. Who is not paying their taxes?

Dear Monkles,

“We’re giving our young people the opportunity of the best possible start in life, with a million more children in good or outstanding schools, and the chance of a high quality apprenticeship or a University place when you leave school”.

Dear Dave,

Hope you saw “Dispatches ”. Apparently you can get a 3 year apprenticeship on how to fill  a launderet dryer for 3.30 an hour. Well done Dave. The word "Outstanding" is as meaningful as your election promises Dave.

Dear Monkles,

 “We’re saying to those who get a job and work hard, that we’ll let you keep more of the money you earn. And to those who save, that we’ll help you buy that home of your own”.

Dear Dave,

3.30 an hour Dave?

Dear Monkles,

“We’re saying to working families that we’re on your side, by doubling free childcare and delivering a better, and truly seven day, National Health Service for you and your family”.

Dear Dave,

3.30 an hour Dave. If work paid we would not need free childcare.

Why are you lying about the NHS Dave?

Dear Monkles,

“And we’re saying to those who have worked hard all their lives that you deserve dignity and security in retirement – so we’ll go on increasing your state pension and make it easier for you to pass on what you have to your loved ones.

Dear Dave,

Don’t patronise me Dave. You will never get my vote

Dear Monkles,

“In all these things our aim is simple: a good life for you and your family. That’s what we promised and that’s what we’re delivering - holding firm to our pledges and paving the way for the brighter future people voted for”.

Dear Dave,

Nobody will ever believe that crock Dave. Why do you bother?

Dear Monkles,

 “And let’s remember, as we work through our plan, that our goal is a greater Britain. Not just making good on our manifesto – but making Britain greater.

Dear Dave,

You are depressing me Dave. You don’t even believe that.

Dear Monkles,

“If you want the same for you, your family and Britain then please contribute to our campaign”.

Dear Dave,

Please stop pretending.

THE FILTHY RICH

 

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 by  Monkles 7  December 2015

twitter.com/#/monkfry

&

twitter.com/#/saramo

 

3.30 per hour. My conversation with Dave?

#NHS #Cameron #Apprenticeships

 

17 March  2015

Goldfish AV and Amnesia

A fish called Colin