10 September 2008
The £5bn Particle Accelerator was launched today and we are all wondering about the point of it all. Mrs Monk was wondering why the machine on the Swiss-French border was designed to smash protons together with cataclysmic force. I was wondering about the possible short term benefits of our 5bn investment, since I have no personal interest in the long term, being of pensionable age. The question waiting to be asked: Is this the next non-stick frying pan?
Mrs Monk cannot wait for the answer to this hypothetical question, and she has embarked upon her very own scientific experiment. She has been wondering about where she should stand in tennis when the score is 15:40. Furthermore, in the spirit of the Sir Alexander Fleming, she has been striving for mankind and also Mrs Palin. Yes, Mrs Monk has made an important scientific discovery that she will soon be publishing in the scientific press. She has been searching studiously for a recipe for everlasting life, and has inadvertently discovered a cure for baldness. Thus far, she has successfully generated a hirsute strawberry.
I know what you are all saying, “Who wants to have strawberry-grey hair? Yes, this is a problem, but then Madam Curie has of course already discovered, in 1886, the ground breaking Grecian 2000 formulae which evolved from her research into gooseberries.
Mankind is saved, Now what should we do about Mrs Palin’s hypocrisy?