Olympic Mooning

14 Aug 2008

The Chinese have now raised the bar with the best ever opening ceremony, and we thought the Australians could not be bettered. (albeit, CGI enhanced, as now revealed)

So how should we Brits respond in 2012, to this new challenge, and who will pay for the cast of thousands that will certainly want paying, unlike the smiling Chinese “volunteers”?

Since we are now actually broke, why not settle for a sing song by Cliff followed by the greatest hits of Status Quo, assuming they still have a pulse in 2012.

In the tradition of introducing new events to The Olympics, Mrs Monk would like to nominate Olympic disciplines to take advantage of the new skills for which we are training avidly in our schools and on the high streets on Friday nights.

1 Synchronised Mooning

2 Kickboxing in the groin

3 Lead Pencil tossing (in the teachers eye)

4 Olympic Spitting and/or Throwing of the Upchuck

5 Olympic gurning

The bag snatch relay

Beat the Asbo

The Fly tipping marathon Thanks Angie

Loser goading.

Obscene chanting.

Swag Lifting.

Gesticulating....

Ram Raiding.

Pistol Shooting.

Sawn-off Rifle shooting.

Getaway driving.

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