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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day         Leslie Monk



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More Recent 2011

28 June 2011 Dear WILCO, Djokovic looks impressive, but both Federer and Andy Murray have better stats and Nadal is a wounded fourth.

Gove’s War

26 June 2011 Are Goves Academies, simply schools run by private companies masquerading as philanthropic charities?

25 June 2011 Dear WILCO, Andy Murray won the first round out of the top four according the stats, but who won the second round and the third?

23 June 2011 Dear WILCO, is your blind faith in Federer misplaced?


21 June 2011 Dear WILCO, Wimbledon Round One Over. One lost set and two bagels for Murray. Straight sets but a tie breaker and no Bagels for Federer. Djockovic awesome but so what. Nadal, shakey. Care to revise your prediction, currently Federer? And what of Soderling?


18 June 2011 pick up to 4 seeds to go out in the first round of Wimbledon and let me know before it begins. Twelve seeds were eliminated in the first round of Roland Garros so it may well happen at Wimbledon. Hit CONTACT and make a prediction or comment.

Lord Sweety is not amused. 16 June 2011.....tells us nothing new about Lord Sugar, but what does it tell us about the BBC?

15 June 2011  If it is unlawful to discriminate on the grounds of age, why do employers continue to ask employees to disclose their age.


“Anthea! Where’s Anthea?” 12 June 2011 Arise Sir Potty Mouth. Close Encounters with Bruce Forsyth



31 May 2011  In the Third Round, Andy Murray turned an ankle horribly and embarrassed Beerer by beating him in straights sets, on one leg for last two sets. But will Murray be fit to continue in the tournament?

30 May 2011 The Witchfinder General and The Daily Mail  They say the buck stops with Sharon Shoesmith but is that really so? The dark strategies of lawyers and HR advisors and the Daily Mail.


28 May 2011  In the Third Round, Andy Murray turned an ankle horribly and embarrassed Beerer by beating him in straights sets, on one leg for last two sets. But will Murray be fit to continue in the tournament?

27 May 2011 All  Fair in Love and War and Parliamentary Expenses

a Tory Blonde, noted that it was generally men having sex that brought about the “super-injunctions” phenomena.


26 May 2011  After Two Rounds discover the value of the world’s top tennis players according to their performances this week, in Monkles, a new currency with which you can buy anything.

25 May 2011  The first round is complete and the for the first time a British woman, and in fact two British women have made it through to the second round. The fact they are both unseeded players make it even more surprising and in fact historic in a  very British way.

23 May 2011 Salacious gossip by twitter about another footballer has been exposed by Lib Dem MP John Hemming who named the player using parliamentary privilege to break the court order. He did this because he thought it was unfair that Twitter alone should be able to exploit salacious gossip, even if there was no public interest in doing so.

 A Lib Dem MP

23 May 2011 The sex life of a Lib Dem MP was discussed tonight in the pub, so it must be true allegedly. If you want to know more about this naughty boy, please hit the contact button on this page.


22 May 2011  The second Tennis Grand slam is about to commence in Paris on the red stuff, of Roland Garros. Murray has found some excellent form at the right time, but is Djokovic about to become No 1?

A competition to test your understanding of the game and win a prize .... if you are good enough.

19 May 2011    Rape is Rape? ...I wonder if Jeremy Paxman is brave enough to suggest that women judges are too female.

15 May 2011 Djokovic has beaten Nadal in the final in straight sets, We have a new number 1 in waiting.

14 May 2011 “Not in a million years”, said Tennis pundit Wilco, when I predicted that Andy Murray would end the winning streak of Djokovic at the Rome Masters in three sets. But Murray failed to serve out the final game of the third set with two double faults and a cruel net cord by Djokovic who will now surely beat Nadal in the final in straiSght sets, unless he is wasted by today’s encounter.

6 May 2011 The British people have spoken and have decided they want an unfair voting system rather than a fairer one. All that is except the enlightened people of  Oxford, Cambridge,  Southwark, Lambeth,  Harringey, Hackney, Glasgow Kelvin, Edinburgh Central, Camden and Islington, who voted YES.

5 May 2011  HelloAVBS I have read your “five big reasons” and they are all untruthful, or otherwise misrepresent the arguments...............

3 May 2011 Goldfish AV and Amnesia Colin Firth has complained that the name, “Colin,” is the kind of name you now give a pet gold fish....................................

3 May 2011Tanya Paranoia ...would I lose any Tesco loyalty points due to this encounter ........


1 May 2011 SayBS Yet more AV BS, from Sayeeda Warsi, Co Chairman of the Conservative Party.......... and no apology.

1 May 2011 I had reason to contact British Airways to complain about a number of problems on the recent trip to Florida. I wrote a long letter and they then asked me to contact them by phone, twice, which I did. They have accepted fault and apologised but now I see that I was charged a premium for telephoning them. This rankles.

21 April 2011AVDC ......the unpleasant tactic of the No campaign is to deliberately confuse and confound anyone incapable of comprehending the unfairness of the present system..........

16 April 2011 Andy Murray has won a tennis match, and no longer needs a coach. However, he does need a haircut. Federer is out of Monte Carlo. Beaten by Melzer 6:4 6:4

13 April 2011 The Car  Picture of cars, or from cars shot by Mrs Monk

11 April 2011  Florida  ............ The restaurant chain, Wagamamamamama paid for the tickets........

10 April 2011 Excessive Whip ... but then I heard her screaming, “Stop beating him, you bastard, You’ve won the race, stop beating him...”

7 April 2011 Today, teachers went on strike in Blackburn Lancashire, where class room discipline had broken down. Their story is such a familiar story of school management ignoring teacher concerns. Government minister, Michael Gove has pledged to support teachers fighting class room indiscipline. Has he spoken to George Osborne about this?

7 April 2011 Today, Government minister, and Chancellor George Osborne, announced to an audience of businesspersons, that the Government is going to weaken employee rights in Employment Tribunals. He said he would prevent vexatious claims in Employment Tribunals. However vexatious claims are currently not allowed in Employment Tribunals , so what is he up too. And has he spoken to Michael Gove about this?

Recent Pictures of St Petes Beach, Florida

6 April 2011The coalition are busy privatising the NHS in the face of opposition from every quarter, including articulate medical doctors on breakfast TV who posses genuine bedside manner, unlike David Cameron who wants to “improve” the NHS, without criticising it.

Time-share, No-share 6 April 2011 ...bound by circumstance and mutual antipathy. They hate each other....

Charlie’s Doppelganger 5 April 2011 ..........found rolling on the sun blest footpath........

Communications and the Photographer 4 April 2011 What happened to my phone in March 2009 after it was lost by Mrs Monk, was ........ UPDATE

Ahh! Bush Country? 1 April 2011  Colonel Gaddafi:  “You take me for a fool. I shall be exiled. Take me to Best Buy”

Does Windows Work? 29 March 2011 I have a secret page...........Windows may interrupt, and has blocked access, when the alternative browsers, Google and Firefox do not............................

Keystone Kops  10 March 2011

Dali Museum St. Petersburg, Florida 14 March 2011

Sand Dollars 10 March 2011

TV Short and TV Fat  3 March 2011  Last night on “Jamie's Dream School”, a fat boy and a short man traded insults about each other, failing to spare each other’s hurt feelings and diminished esteem. The insults lacked creative imagination and for that reason, were disappointing.......................................


1 March 2011 Best Vac Shop

28 February 2011 Best Car Wash

28 February 2011 Inglorious Bastards   Last week David Cameron shared a plane to the middle east, with arms dealers. .........

24 February 2011   Looking into considering media options. Sky allows you to chat on line to discuss this.  I hit the button marked “Existing Customer” and was instantly told that no one was available to chat. Started again as a “New Customer” and immediately got a response from someone willing to chat. Why am I not surprised?

Recent Cat Flap Charlie and Friends

20 February 2011 TheMaximum Wage? Mrs. Monk wrote and presented a piece for BBC R4 in 1997, called Death in Essex. This was about her attempt to find a job in the early 90’s  .........

  Pictures by Mrs Monk selected by others

20 February 2011   This Victorian Monument faces St Paul's Cathedral, London. It does not try to compete for attention with St. Paul's Cathedral, but why is it insulted by this lamp post? Who put this parking notice disguised as street lighting here, and why has the supervisor of the utility that put it there,  not removed it, or be charged with vandalism? For God's sake, if not the Monks.

17 February 2011 Alternative BS The present voting system favours both Tory and Labour and that is why you are both in favour of the present system, which is the least democratic of all the options. ..........

16 February 2011  British Human Rights Abuses? Theresa May was “appalled” by the EU today in a Daily Mail kind of way.

14 February 2011 Liberace Love Lamp

12 February 2011 Least Favourite Teacher   Today, this teacher might have been gaoled

11 February 2011   I overheard a lady ask a B and Q member of staff for a particular light bulb, and offered him a broken bulb for example. “We do have these over here”, he set pointing, “or you could go to Homebase and get them for half the price”.       Now that is what I call, “Customer Service”


9 February 2011 Discipline   Yes, my favourite teacher got knocked-up and it is quite possible that she was being rogered in the staff room, when Jane was beating me up.

9 February 2011   Mr. Maceroon was worn down today in PM’s question time. Found wanting in bold assertions, not altogether true. Maybe porkpies. Maybe testosterone overflow.

6 February 2011   Could not get the Halifax to move on their Car Insurance quote of 299. decided to go with the AA on exactly the same terms for 226.  Once again the Halifax want a little extra. 32% extra. Adios Halifax Insurance.

2 February 2011Dear Paxman

bexhill on sea

Leigh On Sea and the Chocolate Moon    31 January 2011 this page  is from January  2009. The page went haywire so I have reconstructed it and re-published it.

31 January 2011   On BBC Breakfast News, David Cameroon defended the proposed NHS reforms. He said there was “no privatisation going on”, and then moments later said that GPs would be able to spend their new public money to send patients to private hospitals, if they see fit.

27 January 2011  The Referee’s A Wanker    

27 January 2011  Dear Diarium

26 January 2011   Can anything else go wrong? The website server, the Monkle , Yahoo and the Tax Man. all in one week, not to mention, the back ache, the back biting and Mrs. Monk’s nagging about spelling. ..... and Rupert Murdock.

25 January 2011    Conflict in Tunisia, and now Egypt, two places Mrs Monk considered for the spending of her Wagamama travel voucher prize.

 Recent Pictures of Monks        

23 January 2011    Mrs. Monk has finally committed and booked a holiday, cashing in the vouchers she won as a prize. Thank you Waggammama. We are going to Florida in March where I am hoping to find girls in bikinis, on Spring break, and also Flipper, or something in between,.... Floridian Mermaids.

 18 January 2011 Privatised Giveaway

17 January 2011     Andy Murray has a lot of points to defend this week at the Australian Open, when he begins Tuesday 18th with his Round One match against Karol Beck

13 January 2011     How amusing to hear David Macaroon and Ed Miliband compete over how tough they are on Banker’s Bonuses, on Prime Minister’s Question Time.

10 January 2010  Sheriff Dupnick   

 9 January 2010   Dear Mr Bonus 

6 January 2011     Google Ads are relentlessly showing pictures of ladies in underwear on this page, and assuming my readers are interested in this subject. This is of course out of my control, and by no means a Monkles preoccupation apart from the mention of knickers, in September 2010 below.

Mrs Monk’s Bond Street Walk In Pictures

4 January 2010   Dear Nick,

Faces of 2010 on Flickr

1 January 2011    Uneventful Christmas. Winter Holiday in the balance due to Snow in Atlanta and Frosted Orange Groves in Florida.

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3 Most Read Stories  2011 

Sodom and Gomorrah

14 November 2011 .....the blonde and the very first public toilets in Abu Dhabi.......

21 October 2006

Arsehole Signs For Sale


1 April 2006

April Fools’ Day