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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day         Leslie Monk





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More 2012


21 June 2012

Hypocrisy Abuse

Cameron has recently accused Labour of Hypocrisy when they attacked him over his relationship with Murdoch. That would be an abuse of the charge of hypocrisy unless two wrongs make a right, but what about his moral crusade against Jimmy Carr?

When Cameron and Osborne attempted to justify their lowering of the tax rate for the very well off, it was explained that this was because very little tax is collected from this sector. When Mr Milliband made his extravagant gesture in parliament toward Cameron's “Cabinet of Millionaires”, many of them came forward defending themselves by declaring that they were not higher tax payers. Would that be because these old Etonians, so capable of charming Rebeka Brooks, and the Murdochs, were not as well off as we all thought, or were they also like Jimmy Carr able to squirrel away their fortunes to avoid tax?

Now that would be a triple Hippo.

17 June 2012 Advertising Abuse Nalbandian attacks the Queen's sponsor in west London. Yes, there was some unintended collateral damage.



17 June 2012  David Cameron and Rebeka Brooks, Osborne and Coulson, Hunt and now Gove, all in it together.

Pictures by Sara Monk where the TV is featured, either directly or inadvertently.


OF THE DAY 14 June 2012

#HestonsCookbook Hypotenuse of lamb served on a memory-foam mattress with vulcanised radishes and smashed Frazzles

14 June 2012

We know that many men and women in high positions of trust and influence have committed perjury at Leveson. Whatever happens today we know that Louise Mensche will pass judgement on the veracity of what will be said by Cameron in support of Cameron, Hunt and the Murdochs.


13 June 2012

Veteran German Tommy Haas attacks Andy Murray for perceived histrionics over injuries on court, referring to Murray’s back spasm in Paris, but Hass clearly did not actually watch that first set where Murray was not able to serve or move on court for the whole of the first set. It might have been gamesmanship if Murray had moved freely and then called the trainer but that did not happen. Hass may well be indulging in gamesmanship himself in advance of Wimbledon since he has been given a wild card.


The Hee Bee Gee Bees



The Daily Sketch

11 June 2012

Louise Mensch and Mrs Monk exchanged a few unsocial words on Twitter today, and then behold  Mensch was on Channel 4 News tonight, accusing Gordon Brown of lying on Leveson, and therefore of perjury since he was under oath. Is there nothing that she wont say to get noticed and flatter Murdoch. Her posturing was immediately followed by Channel Four Dispatches describing her friend Jeremy Hunt literally hiding behind a tree in order to avoid being seen at a Murdoch empire party.


11 June 2012

Astonishng Gideon Osborne admits he made a political calculation not to have a view about BSkyB because there was nothing in it for his party. Is this what they meant about him being lazy. A politician without a view is like a bricklayer without a trowel.


10 June 2012

Mrs Monk is an immigrant so we are inclined to be more aware of casual xenophobia directed at immigrants. Most recently some redneck neighbours have even been inclined to blame immigrants for their parking problems. Mrs Monk did not take this personally because she is an English speaking honky.

Theresa May on Andrew Marr also wants to reference the xenophobic wing of her constituency. Apparently immigrants are to be obliged to take courses on correct bunting display.


OF THE DAY 7 June 2012

“If anyone does manage to find out my Linkedin password, would they please remind me of it.”


10 June 2007, “I could do that.”

This week, five years ago, Mrs Monk put her foot in it.... again.


5 June 2012 Twitter has turned Mrs Monk into Karl Marx love child. Did not see that coming.

5 June 2012 Jon Stewart mocks Piers Morgan,

CNN's Diamond  Jubilee coverage


5 June 2012 Last Year at this time the city was occupied by rioting mobs, and now by flag waving sycophants. Not sure which is more embarrassing, or which has done more damage to Britain's reputation abroad and the public purse at home. Between each event this man sat on the steps of St Paul's.


3 June 2012 Jubilicious  Mrs. Monk now wants her own pageant.

3 June 2012

Cable Hunt and Cameron, all puppets of unseen advisors?   Cable and Hunt had opposing views on the BSkyB bid.  We are told this did not affect the outcome of the bid because they were acting on advice at all times. It is implied therefore that Vince Cable and Jeremy Hunt would have made the same decision on the BSkyB bid. That may be David Cameron's view on the matter, expressed today on Andrew Marr, or the view that his advisors have told him to express.


Roger Federer is still racking up the unforced errors, but the big story is Murray’s back breaking first set where he served like Mrs Monk. and won in four sets against Jarkko Nieminen

The Stats don’t lie.



30 May 2012

Round One of Roland Garros is now complete Serena Williams is out

and Tipsarevic is looking hot.

The Stats don’t lie.

28 May 2012 Roland Garros is now underway and Roger Federer registered 47 unforced errors in his first round match against the World Number 78, the  German, Tobias Kamke, but nevertheless won in straight sets.

Tate Shadows

28 May 2012

A remake of a 2008 Movie

I reminded Mrs Monk that Jah Wobble, was given his name by the Sex Pistol, Sid Vicious who mispronounced his real name, John Wardle.


24 May 2011

Yesterday it was the hottest day of the year and today, even hotter. Mrs. Monk is on pool pervert watch. Apparently there is an abundance of bikini clad Essex girls frolicking in the pool. I told her I would keep an eye out for perverts and report back to her.



Pictures of Cat Flap Charlie and Friends, snapped by Sara Monk from 2009 to 2011, are constantly added and removed from this set so his admirers, all over the world, may be frequently updated of Charlie's progress. Of this he is blissfully unaware, because he is a cat.

21 May 2011

Today, Vince Cable has condemned proposals to make it easier for firms to sack under-performing staff or staff they don't "like" as "the wrong approach".  Too little and far too late from Vince Cable.

Good and Bad employers are already supported by Employment Tribunals. Both good and bad employees are rarely satisfied by trivial employment Tribunal awards in their favour. Only bad Employers pay out fat Compromise Agreements which they now wish to rename, No Blame Agreements.


27 May 2004 Born To Teach

Mrs Monk, now retired from teaching was, in her time, able to prove objectively that  she was able to advance 100 % of her sample, or any sample of her pupils from one grade to another beyond the national average. This meant that she could not be refused Advanced Skills Teacher Status. She did this 10 years in a row.

The teacher Unions say that such evaluation of teachers is divisive.  Schools then advanced “popular” teachers on more subjective criteria like fun.  Not real fun, but unfunny fun perceived by desperately unfunny Ofsted inspectors.


19 May 2012


High street giant Currys are not honouring Extended Warranty contracts.


3 May 2011 Goldfish AV and Amnesia

The AV debate is now over, so why are readers still reading this page from a year ago? This continues to be the most read page on Shoestringonline in May 2012. Very strange.



13 May 2012“Light Touch Regulation”

meaningless political contrivance only ever used to deceive

Pictures by Sara Monk where the TV is featured, either directly or inadvertently.

11 May 2012 LOL, DC.

10 May 2012 Prince Charles to appear on Celebrity Deal or No Deal


9 May 2012 Mrs Monk runs through her favourite tweets over Dinner. She has taken a sharpe turn to the left. It makes you proud to be Monk. She has been taxed by the British for thirty years and has no representation.  We may declare the Monk House, Independent.

7 May 2012 I sat in the car while Mrs Monk had a rare shop in Selfridges this Bank Holiday Monday. I was parked in a quiet side street obstructing nobody, but yes on a yellow line. I found myself confronted by a dripping wet traffic warden who was not in a good mood. “I don’t care if you are sitting in your car, I will take your picture and you will get it in the post”, he said.

Here we go again.


12 May 2006


When The Tate lost the definite article, 6 years ago this week.


6 May 2012

The unMenschionable MP

Miss Mensch was out to influence either my opinions, or my loins by her picture spread in GQ.

5 May 2012 I would like to be yet another non Tory to come to the defence of Lousies Menche. It was said that many men fancied Margaret Thathcher This was not something I shared with Clive James, for example, but we should at least


2 May 2005

The Oysters Revenge  and Life is Good Amongst the Nazi Bunkers

3 May 2012  No “R” in the month of May it seems and a reminder that we should vote today if only because we can. If you live in Leigh, I found the Liberal Democrats at least willing to address the parking issues that have occupied these pages. On an international level The Liberal Democrats stand with Labour against the Murdochs  and only the Tories support the Murdochs.



1 May 2012 Should teachers be paid by results?

2 May 2012 "Of course Rupert Murdoch is fit and proper" said Louise Mensch, who put herself forward as spokesperson for the Tory block on the House of Commons, Culture Media Select Committee. She complained that the question about whether or not the Murdochs were "Fit and Proper" was not in the remit of the committee and this was not considered by the Committee. The Labour and Liberal members of the committee felt otherwise.  That did not stop Louise Menche offering her partisan verdict, whilst at the same time implying that it was not partisan. Perhaps like Murdoch, she and the other partisan Tories are also wilfully blind.



Recent Pictures of London

30 April 2012  David Cameron rarely answers questions at Question Time, in Parliament, but when Dennis Skinners asked his question today about the Culture Secretary debacle, Cameron told  Dennis Skinner to take his pension and resign. Cameron snarled at Dennis Skinner. Hunt laughed out loud obsequiously.

Age discrimination is supposedly taken very seriously in Employment Tribunals, but anyone over 50 should beware of the bleeding obvious and demand answers.


I had it in mind to put this movie into The Love Bucket until I got to the end of the movie and then changed my mind. The editor’s dilemma is to sort out the gush from the blush, and true love from the loose flattery of the insincere. Something we should all be doing this week of the local elections.


subscribe, no charge...

Love is a very splendid thing. A movie called "Love" was created by us Monks at Shoestringonline. We then discovered that there were 10,729 movies on vimeo with the same title. Most seem to be syrup, or church, or just bad, or all three. Surely there would be enough to start a Love Channel. Love Channel was born, or was there already a Love Channel. Apparently not.



Unlovely movies about love and a foil to the Love Channel

subscribe, no charge...if you must.


28 April 2012 Occasionally, agnostics need to burn candles to supplement a failure of well being, when things are not as well as they might be. Mrs. Monk rejected the six candle candelabra purchased today as unsuitable,  in favour of this kitchen table top incantation.


25 April 2012 Jeremy Hunt receives endorsement from Cameron. and is therefore doomed. Murdoch’s biographer is out there endorsing Rupert in advance of Levenson  judgement, finding him innocent before he has been found guilty.

24 April 2012 If you need to hire a car and call the number listed in Yellow Pages for Avis Southend, you will get through to someone in Coventry who will spend a great deal of time finding out that they have no car available in Southend. You will then be charged a premium for asking them that question. Avis try harder?

The Flamingo Las Vegas

5 Years ago this week, the Monks visited Las Vegas

The Daily Sketch

Something appears here most days from the prolific pen or pencil of Mrs Monk and less frequently from  Mr Monk, when Mrs Monk becomes less productive.


23 April 2006 Rufus Wainwright stole my idea of getting a beautiful girl to dress as him and to pretend to sing his song. In his case Helena Bonham Carter. I  had to settle for this other girl to whom I am related. He was singing about his demons and I was singing about mine. Compare and contrast if you will.


22 April 2012

Alternative Adjudicator

Southend Council : "Item of correspondence incorrect".Four miserable words that do not amount to a hill of beans.


19 April 2012  The Adjudicator

Cat Flap Charlie does not understand Gobledygook

18 April 2006 Something has gone wrong with my Web Site uploading and I cannot yet pass on important info to the victims of parking chaos in Leigh On Sea. Nice man at 1and1 Web Hosting is going to put that right very soon. Watch this space.



This day some time ago I became concerned about Mrs Monk’s CD choices. Cannot remember when we last bought a CD


10 April 2012  Mrs Monk made this sketch and a few more making her way about the  Tate “Retrospective” of Damien Hirst , already a block buster. Not included are any of the recent paintings made by Hirst that were so bad that even lesser known artists like Tracey Emin and Sara Monk started to look good. Rest in Formaldehyde, Mr. Hirst.


10 April 2011

The Dark Art of the Bullying Head Teacher

Bullying of teachers by Head Teachers, swept under the carpet.


4 April 2012 They announced the hose pipe ban the day it rained. Mrs Monk had this inspired idea on how to save the rain drops and beat the drought.

Mrs Monk’s Little Red Book

2 April 2009


3 April 2012 Gove wants to raise A-level standards but is that the problem?

Bus Stop Pictures


1 April 2012 Dear Leigh Times Why does your front page article ignore the concerns of residents?

1 April 2012 Government announces plans  to tax Ice Cubes because of the high energy costs of generating Ice Cubes. Ambient ice is exempt. You couldn't make it up.

1 April 2012 Government says Don’t Panic.


1 April 2012  A mophead as a hair piece put there by Mrs Monk to make me look foolish. Click on my face for some foolish music improvised one April Fools Day some time ago.

30 March 2012  The don’t panic weekend when there was no gas at the pump due to government misadvice.


27 March 2012 Andy Roddick has just beaten Roger Federer in Miami, and has only beaten him twice in twenty two attempts. Before the match Sky pundits speculated about the final gasp of Roddick’s career in Miami and the revival of Federer’s waning career which seemed in good health after last week’s result in Indian Wells. Whatever next?


19 March 2006 FASHION 

Green Sock Blue Sock

25 March 2012  Seamus is Sick


Part 9 & 10 Cat Catcher &The Amazing Mighty Mouse

Running and Ruining Privatisation

22 March 2012 "WHERE ARE WE? WE ARE IN SOUTHEND" running a business and ruining other business

22 March 2012 Tory friendly Daily express Headline “5M PENSIONERS ROBBED IN THE BUDGET” and  made the Morning Star look almost conservative. They wrote politely with surprising  restraint “A nefarious stealth tax” Not one headline favoured George Gideon Osborne.

22 March 2012 Dear Gideon Osborne, Your doppelganger George, blames the BBC for misleading the Inland Revenue, who say that Pensioners are worse off by your budget.

Therefore, the BBC have also misled the Daily Telegraph, The Independent, The Times, Sky TV, The Monks, The Guardian, Channel Four News, and even The Daily Mail.

Gideon doppelganger also wants to claim today that the well off are not advantaged by the budget cut in the high rate of tax.

So how does he raise so much cash out of thin air?


21 March 2012 Mrs Monk has been twittering on my account as if they were by me. She thinks we are like Gilbert and George and that it doesn’t matter. Approach with caution.


Motortown and the A13

12 March 2012 a confrontational brutal play about Britain..... Southend, the military Garrison of Shoeburyness and the A13

8 March 2012 Mrs. Monk rudely confronted by an opponent of this message.  Southend Council agree to propose an alternative parking scheme to support blighted residents of the small hamlet of Chalkwell, near Southend, Essex. Follow these pages for continuing updates on the progress of this little local difficulty.

Dear Leigh Times

7 March 2012 two poster campaigns in the areas of Leigh and Chalkwell which is blighted by parking issues

5 March 2012 The day they filmed Putin crying, but not about the tortured and the dying in Syria.

5 March 2012 Southend Airport’s new terminal opened today. Mrs Monk is excited about European sunshine holiday destinations becoming at least four hours closer, and a great deal cheaper. Thank you Freddie Laker.

5 March 2012 British Airways has just written to me asking me to vote for them in the Freddie Awards, which is a prestigious global endorsement of the best airlines in the world. The awards are so named after the pioneer of budget airline travel, Sir Freddie Laker, who may be stirring in his grave, since he held BA and others responsible for bankrupting his airline.

3 March 2012  Federer beats Murray in ATP Dubai Final.

Wilco is better than an Octopus. Better than Sky pundits, Better than Saramo and Monkfry. But it was just a mere ATP 500.

Federer and Murray in today’s ATP Dubai Final.

Andy Murray has an 8 to 6 winning advantage over Roger Federer,  and most of  this was achieved during Federer’s glory years.

Egg Head Tennis Wise Wilco  has spoken. ....

“Fed will win..again,” he wrote. And Wilco is more reliable than an Octopus in a fish tank.

1 March 2012 Starkey and Redwood on the same Question Time panel.  What a horror show. Both say they can raise tax by reducing the high rate of tax from 50% to 40%. Poor people just dont know how to spend money to stimulate the economy according to these two Tory Boys.

1 March 2012 Cat Flap Charlie and the Mother of all Privatisation

Where are the White Van Spy Cam photographs of Mrs Monk carrying sick Charlie from the car to the house?

26 February 2012 Andy Murray is in Dubai this week. Only Rapha is missing from the line up  Djokovic has been placed in Murray’s side of the drawer, and should be in Federer’s if the seeding were fair. Looks like they after a Federer / Djokovic final and are not taking Murray seriously or  otherwise unwilling to treat him equitably.

26 February 2012 Mrs Monk is becoming a ferocious twitterer and enjoys teasing me with the ever increasing number of her followers. You may see what I mean if you hit the link above. Many of her followers are pole dancers, and I make no judgement about that.


Pictures by Sara Monk where the TV is featured, either directly or inadvertently.


23 February 2012 Conservative MP, Stuart Andrew received a Falkirk Facial, a variant on the Glasgow Kiss, delivered by Labour MP Eric Joyce. The bloodied Tory is complaining, because only fox blood is at all welcome on a Tory face. Time Gentleman Please. All that subsidised House of Commons beer has gone to your heads.

22 February 2012 Cameron’s “poll tax”. Blessed NHS, RIP. Today the Government NHS privatisation steamroller advances with an almighty ding dong on PMQs..

21 February 2012 American Hot

This page was posted this week 8 years ago. It was intended to explain Mrs Monk, and and my favourite pizza.

20 February 2012 This happened today:  The bathroom shower would not stop working, the household boiler would not start working, the car spluttered and stalled due to a failing catalytic converter, Mrs Monk volunteered to hold a surveyors staff while I conducted a construction survey, because even Mrs Monk could hold a 6 foot stick still for 30 seconds without complaint, in my dreams. What could possibly go wrong? My 30M steel measuring tape came out of the of the end of the self rewinding case and unravelled into an unusable metallic spaghetti. What else could possibly go wrong?


17 February 2012  Seamus is Sick


Part 8 Cat and Mouse with Charlie

9 February 2012 Paul Dacre was recalled to Levensen because he said that Hugh Grant was mendacious. He would need to prove that because if not that would be libelous. He had to be told more than once to answer questions and not speak until he was spoken too. He used the Redknapp “I know nothing” defence, and the “because I am too busy editing a National Newspaper of no repute” defense. He had a big red face throughout.

Miss Putupon’s Last Lesson

7 February 2012 200 years. This story was intended to resonate with Dickens. What would he have made of the comic Mr Pickles and the ever snarling bloated ego of Peter Hitchens.

2 February 2012

Big Questions Small Bullies   two arrogant ill informed naughty grammar school boys.

2 February 2012 Huhne Faces Life?  Huhne fingers Cameron, and faces Life in Prison, say BBC.


2 February 2012 Facebook goes corporate today The beginning of the end of that book of faces?


2 February 2012 British Gas speak with forked tongue, They wrote to me and said,  “We've dropped our electricity prices and we now offer the cheapest standard electricity on average of any major supplier.” Double Dutch meaningless sales talk.


31 January 2012 This page was down today for 24 hours due to unknown problem with the server, 1and1.

31 January 2012 Fred The Shred lost his knighthood for wrecking the economy, and because Cameron needed a futile gesture to soothe his  discomfort over the banker’s bonus issue.


30 January 2012 BBC has seemed to have lost touch with the people. They characterise Hesters loss of bonus with the bold headline,

“RBS boss Stephen Hester rejects 1m bonus”,

as if his heart were in it. Another BBC commentator suggested that a 1M bonus was “not a lot of money”.

Australian Open Top 8 Stats

By this imperfect analysis of the tournament stats Nadal posted the best stats overall by just one point over Djokovic. That will be of no comfort to Nadal, but it does show how tight it is at the top. Wilco made 5 separate predictions, and they all came true. How does he do that? He is better than the Sky pundits. If you made a prediction, thanks.

Australian Open Seeds

follow their progress during the tournament

Australian Open Predictions

by Wilco and Others. Hit the contact link, make an impressive prediction and beat the Tennis Egg Heads.

I Believe in Breakfast

28 January 2012

......and pole dancing erotic vegetables in the aisles and smiling chickens....


25 January 2012 Yesterday, Murray posted the worst 1st Serve  percentage of any player in the entire tournament but still won easily. Overall he has posted better stats than Djokovic.

Australian Open Predictions

by Wilco and Others. Hit the contact link, make an impressive prediction and beat the Tennis Egg Heads.

Blousy Louise Mensch MP

23 January 2012 I was just admiring your pigment

23 January 2012 Berdych had a run-in with Almalgro who floored him somewhat lamely with a tennis ball. This did not impress the Aussie crowd. In compesation, Berdych leads my unique table of the elite men, here posted for what its worth.

Australian Open Top 8 Stats

Panorama exploited by Jove

21 January 2012 How arrogant novices like Gove and Toby Young can find themselves with the power to defy the wishes of communities

 19 January 2012 Mardy Fish has best stats of top eight at Australian Open, but loses and is now out. Might need to adjust stats format.

Australian Open Top 8 Stats

For some reason Murray again finds himself out on court nearly thrice the time of Djokovic and more than anyone else in the top eight, in the worst heat that Melbourne can provide. Nevertheless Murray is through into the second round..

Australian Open Seeds

follow their progress during the tournament

Australian Open Predictions

by Wilco and Others. Hit the contact link, make an impressive prediction and beat the Tennis Egg Heads.


16 January 2012

Hello Co Op, Goodbye AA

The Monks decided to save money and cancel our AA membership of 20 years standing, and switch to the Co Op. When I called to cancel this and my Car Insurance, also with the AA, I did not expect to get abuse, and a lecture from a mega mouth sales man. He seemed to think he had the right to demand that I listened to his sales jargon and ignore my instructions to cancel my membership.

15 January 2012

Aussie Open

15 January 2012 Mrs Monk predicts that Murray will win. Monkles is more conservative and believes he will at least reach the second week. Further predictions by Wilco and others may be forthcoming if they have the courage to put their reputations on the line. We shall see what happens, beginning tomorrow.

14 January 2012 Gove said yesterday on the BBC that teachers who complain about bullying are incapable teachers. How Kafka is that? Would love to see Gove in front of 30 pupils of my choice, not the little sweet charming year 7s, with whom he likes to pose for the BBC. Will Gove get the sack?

White Van Spy Cam Man

13 January 2012 Teacher support web sites are now rife with traumatised. teachers that have heard Michael Gove's irresponsible comments. His high profile ill informed  proselytising on the subject is in itself bullying and traumatising teachers. Will Gove get the sack?


Gove’s World of Secrets

11 January 2012 Are parents  misinformed by head teachers about what is happening in their schools.

 9 January 2012 Key phrases from the last five tweets by the Daily Mail. Immigration to blame mother killed by pedophile spared by policeman and psychotic Peter Hitch needing vacation and medication.

 9 January 2012 Peter Hitchins of the Daily Mail may well be unwell. His column in the daily mail is close to psychotic. He needs a vacation and should not forget to pack his medication.

 7 January 2012 Mrs Monk is here because she gets more Twitter followers than me. She is not exactly known to me for the brevity demanded by Twitter. Cat flap Charlie could teach her a thing or two about brevity. Miaow.

 7 January 2012 Cat flap Charlie has recovered, and back outside frolicking, enjoying an unseasonably good January day. Mrs. Monk still forcing antibiotics into him. Veterinary cost: 45, just below his insurance excess. What a bummer.

Gove’s Forced Academies

 7 January 2012 Academies are allowed to keep big fat secrets.

Discipline in Waitrose

 He could be a teacher, she said.


 4 January 2012 Some of Diane Abbott's best friends are very white Tory Boys. A stupid non political tweet would not make her a racist. The rush to vilify Diane Abbott may well be so.

4 January 2012 Cat Flap Charlie is unwell. Vet says that he has a heart murmur, a temperature and an infection. Refuses to purr. Vet tells us to hold his paws when force feeding antibiotics, so he wont scratch us. Charlie would not even scratch Margaret Thatcher. Not many cats can say that.


Seamus Has Left The Building

2 January 2012 New year’s resolution collapse. Don’t ask.


1 January 2012  Faces of 2011 recorded by theses pages or otherwise taken by Mrs Monk on her travels throughout 2011


The Daily Sketch

Something appears here most days from the prolific pen or pencil of Mrs Monk and less frequently from  Mr Monk, when Mrs Monk becomes less productive. A sketch is something produced in a fleeting moment or two of inspiration, not intended to be a finished work, but nevertheless too precious to be ignored. Artists like Tracy Emin make a career without ever progressing beyond this stage. Mrs Monk is currently impressed by Tracy Emin, now that Tracy has disclosed on TV, her very own private lapping swimming pool in the basement of her home. Mrs Monk also loves to do laps on a daily basis, and to count her laps, in a mermaid dream, but in a less than private swimming pool.

More 2012


3 Most Read Stories  2012 


3 May 2011 Goldfish AV and Amnesia Colin Firth has complained that the name, “Colin,” is the kind of name you now give a pet gold fish .................

2 December 2009

Revenge of the Telephobic Revisited

21 October 2006

Arsehole Signs For Sale


two arrogant ill informed naughty grammar school boys

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  Complain, Applaud, or Comment  CONTACT Shoestringonline