"Heft" is a word I learned today from a fellow shopper at John Lewis, Bluewater Shopping Mall.
Like me the fellow shopper was waiting for his wife and hanging about laptops in the tech department.
"What do you think of these Samsung Chromebooks?" I asked him.
He seemed to know what he was talking about but then I told him about how Mrs Monk was attracted to the deal because it included an extraordinary offer of a "free" smart phone that came with it. Mrs Monk had planned that she would get the Samsung Chromebook and her smart husband would get the “free” smart phone. He being me of course, and me being the only man alive without one.
Mrs Monk's current laptop is no longer with us. Mrs Monk had spilt far too much jam and red wine and other sticky stuff on that poor dilapidated laptop, the instrument of her Twitter wit. Her followers await.
I told my new friend that Mrs Monk decided to order a Samsung Chromebook on line, and that I had convinced her that we must go there to John Lewis, and take a look before she parted with her cash. I explained that Mrs Monk could type 100 words a minute but I doubted that she could do it on that Samsung Chromebook keyboard that was before us.
Mrs Monk duly arrived to view what she almost bought the night before and there we witnessed her look of disappointment.
She immediately sought the opinion of my new friend. He told her to buy a second hand IBM. He said that would have the correct "heft" for her.
I have never used that word and the current Dictionary.com definition would not exactly help, since they report that heft refers to heaviness or heaving.
Our friend explained that "heft" actually refers to the way an object relates to the human hand and that it is a measure of suitability and not of heaviness.
I explained to him that I had a problem when I used my wife's tennis racquet. He agreed that this would be correct usage of "heft" and I then told him that I learn something every day.
Under interrogation we learned that the man was a retired academic in the sciences.
When Mrs Monk noted the sad spectacle of old people using smart phones, our new friend said, "OAPs will always be curious".
Mrs Monk bought a very un-cool Toshiba and Mr Monk is still without a smart phone.
How very smart is that?