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Mrs. Monk's Would-be Diary, should have been written by Mrs. Monk, since she is the "Writer" in the family.
However, since she is a writer only in the conceptual sense, I have undertaken to fill these pages on her behalf.
If not by her, these pages will certainly be about her, and other important matters of the day

Leslie Monk



Mrs Monk’s Would-Be Diary .........

Mrs Monk Is Unwell

 5 December 2009

Mrs Monk has no further need for the fat Medical Dictionary that used to sit on the bedside table along with all the pills and potions and miracle cures, for unknown diseases: now Mrs Monk has the Internet at her disposal for her endless search for new obscure medical conditions that she may have been exposed to, or worse.

If by chance someone else might mention some rare medical condition that she has never heard of, she will be on the Internet before you could say Ahhh! She will seek out knowledge of the disease and report to me immediately, about how she may well also have contracted this condition, and that the condition may well be contagious, and because she has been exposed to the person with that condition, that she may well be, and indeed is most likely to be, infected with that disease.

So powerful is this impulse to trace the source of her problem that she will look around for who might be responsible for passing on the condition to her, and did so even when she complained about her recent pain in the knee.

I was blamed for this knee problem for, from my perspective, irrational reasoning. For example, Mrs. Monk accused me of not turning the mattress, and also for sleeping on my back. These are two night time explanations because that is when she seems to get gyp in the knee. My sleeping posture inconvenienced Mrs. Monk because she was not able to place her knee where she wanted to put it, which is where I might happen to be when asleep.

No, I didn't understand it either.

However (I noticed a substantial decline in Mrs. Monks appetite. This concerned me because, having lost five pounds, I had now put on five pounds due to being forced to eat two dinners instead of one.

Loss of appetite was one thing and maybe a flu based symptom, but when Mrs Monk started running on her bad knee, to the smallest room in the house, something had to be done.

Mrs. Monk is well known at the medical centre and she knows all the Doctors, and the names of their children, and the names of their pets. They also know her, and what is coming, as she approaches, and do not necessarily take her seriously.

I took matters into my own hands, and escorted Mrs.. Monk to the Doctor. It was my mission to demand NHS attention for Mrs. Monk. I had heard all about Mrs. Monk’s perceived medical problems for twenty five years, ad infinitum, now it was her Doctor’s turn to listen.

I did not expect, or want, to hear Mrs. Monk tell her doctor. “I had a bad knee but it’s feeling better now,”


Mrs Monk was not able to place her knee where she wanted to put it

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