Wild Horses on the M25 meant that we missed our flight out of Heathrow.
Not a sentence I ever expected to write but nevertheless true.
We were stressed enough by preceding calamities, but calamities begot more calamities and we then missed the turn for Purple Parking and found ourselves following a Purple Parking shuttle bus to a place we should not have been.
The people at Purple Parking may well be experienced in helping out stressed passengers and they provided reassurance and comfort which relieved our anxiety, settled our nerves and got us to the terminal as they promised they would.
When we arrived at an unbusy relaxed Virgin check-in desk we discovered that 59 minutes before departure was one minute too late.
Virgin Airways was then presented with an opportunity to please two Virgin Flying Club members with the name Monk, and “Airmile” credit that reads like we Monks could feed the world with “Airmiles”, but left with a smell like Beckton tip.
Our "Wild Horse" misfortune turned out to be not so much an opportunity for The Monks to cash in on our ever lasting Airmail BS credit but a business opportunity for Virgin Airways to kerchang.
Virgin declined to make any offer to fly us to our destination on another airline. Wrong kind of ticket? We therefore elected to fly not to Washington but to New York same day, rather than drive home and back through wild horses or wildebeests in north London.. No extra cost to Virgin but just the kind of kerchang business opportunity they were waiting for.
Embarrassed Virgin Sales Clerk successfully deferred to unspecific small print that no one had access to at Airline check in. Thus they successfully extracted a further "£200" from the Monks for no extra service, unless the repetition of the word "No" can be described as a service.
"No" you cannot pay the further "£200" or improve your ticket by using your mega rich “Airmiles” account that might appear to be so bloody marvelous to anyone that has not attempted to spend it.
"No" you cannot upgrade your economy ticket using your mega rich “Airmiles” account.
Virgin clerk was also not impressed by some of the best prearranged performance weeping by Mrs Monk I have ever seen, unless they were real tears.